Blog

Train Wreck

( A big thank you to Aiyana's play for helping with the blog, or should I say for writing this scene first and inspiring me to write it from Ashir's point of view.)

The full moon hung low in the sky---a silver beacon that called werewolves to change, and many werewolves found this call impossible to ignore. Those who hated what they were viewed the full moon with the utmost dread. It was a time where they locked themselves in cages, and prayed they wouldn't awake on the other side.

For my pack--it was an entirely different story. It was the only time we could all hunt together. My pack were not just werewolves or lycans, but rather both and some who were like me, wolves who can take all three forms---like my second Mayve. It did not surprise either of us when those who were under the control of the moon said they wished to hunt during the full moon--especially the pups.

Even in human form the pups 'hunted' everything. Bugs being a particular favorite. I never saw the appeal, but maybe Mavye could enlightening me on this obsession of their. She had one time shared their liking for insects.

The excitement of the youngest members of the pack in turned made the other members eager for the full moon, and when it came we were off. The hunt was my favorite thing--even more so with my pack at my side. We were one. What one of us heard. The rest heard. Quickly we found our pray. A rabbit. A perfect prey for the pups.

Later--the adults will hunt a bigger prey. A deer perhaps, but for now we were content to let our youngest have their fun. A familiar scent caused me to pause. I knew that scent. It was the aroma of Aiyana--my mate.

I had to see her. I trusted Mayve to keep the pack in check. So, I tilted my head back howling--allowing her to know where I was going. If she was uncertain about her abilities to keep the pack under control I would have remained, but her howl followed shortly later. It told me that she was capable of watching the pack alone.

I took off following that beautiful scent until I came upon the source. Her eyes were already upon me when I walked up towards her. She most have heard me as I approached. This does not matter. I can spend a few moments watching her in wolf form before either of us talk. I could talk as I were --in the form of the wolf. But, Aiyana would react as she always had. No matter how many times I showed her that I can talk in whatever form I take she clung to the belief that in the form of the wolf I should be incapable of such an action.

It was just one of the many reasons why I loved her.

Love her.

What I felt for her wasn't something that was going to change. My heart. My soul even was hers. She was my mate. My other half. The thing that completed me. No, it was more than that. She was the sun and I was the plant that would wither and die without her. It was a miracle that I had survived this long.

Perhaps, my survival was due in part to the fact that for the longest time I had thought I had no mate. I had seen countless others of my children find theirs, and I have to admit that I felt jealous of them. This was until Aiyana came into my life. I knew who she was. I felt it into the very depth of me, and then I acted. There were no thought in that action. Just pure and utter instinct. I changed her--a fact I fear she will never forgive me for.

After taking in every inch of her. I decided to speak. "Why won't you let me help you?" I said, annoyed. Much of her pain and suffering would have ended if she allowed me to do such a thing. I could have taught her how to control the wolf. A thing I had told her countless times, but each and every time those words went upon deaf ears.

"Help me?" She spat at me. "You did this to me. You destroyed my life. You made me a monster."

While it was true I changed her to say I destroyed her life was--simply a lie. I wanted to tell her that it was her fault that they were did. Their death was a direct result of her not accepting my help, and not of what I did. But, I didn't. I couldn't. Instead, I just growled. "Do you think this change the fact that I changed you?" I asked, grabbing the wrist with the beads.

"No, they just keep me from losing it to the beast." The anger she felt towards me wasn't just felt in those words, but also in the way she looked at me. If looks could kill I would have been pulp.

"That's not controlling. That's putting off the inevitable. If you keep denying the wolf, you will change and you will kill again. If you allowed me to help you, I can teach you how to be in complete control. How to never hurt someone unless you wished to." As said these words I shifted in each form in order to show her that mastery over her 'beast' form was possible.

I had existed for countless years--truthfully I had lost count. I will never age and neither would my children. Yet, I understood my line weren't the only one. I had seen lines were the wolves aged just as humans did.

I had returned to my human form when I finished speaking.

Her response was a simple "Bah"

"Damn it. I gave you a gift. Why can’t you see that?" I snarled at her in rage.

"A gift? The gift of hurting those I love." She spat back at me. " How the hell is that a gift?" If I thought she was angry before it was now screaming in my face. I could sense to wolf wanting to break free.

Yet, at that this moment I was to caught up in my own emotion to help calm her down. I was running towards a horrible wreck and there was nothing I could do to stop it. "You wouldn’t have killed them if you had let me help you. It is all because you are too stubborn."

"Stubborn. I am stubborn. You are the one who doesn’t understand that the sight of you sickens me." Her words hurt me. It cut me in ways she wouldn't understand.

"I am not the one who sickens you."

"Really? Who is it then? The monster? You are that monster."

"Am I?"

"You made me a monster. You turned me into the monster that destroyed my family. I killed both my families because of you. If you hadn’t changed me I would have never done it."

I knew as soon as those words escaped her lips that this was the wreck I was running towards, but before I could reach out to comfort her she had taken off. All that rage, grief, and hatred came rushing out from the depth of her and exploded around her, destroying the landscape in the form of her spirit wolf.

I didn't care if I was shared the same fate as the forest I had to go to her.